In the mind of a narcissist, anyone who challenges their sense of superiority, their control, or their narrative becomes the enemy. When they feel threatened—whether by confrontation, boundaries, or mere disagreement—they begin to spin a story in which you, the challenger, are transformed into the villain. They will attack you relentlessly, using every tool in their arsenal to discredit you and elevate themselves. This tactic is not unique; it is a predictable behavior pattern deeply rooted in the psychology of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

For example, I’ve been branded as a “narcissist” myself, his favorite go-to accusation. Why? Because I’ve stood up to him, questioned him, and refused to play the role of his obedient puppet. In the narcissist’s distorted world, I’m not just labeled as a narcissist, but also as a liar, a manipulator, and even worse—an abuser. He’s called me a child molester, a violent man with a history of intimidation, and someone who has neglected his family. He paints me as a threat to his children, a harasser, someone who seeks to cause harm at every turn. His goal is to strip me of credibility, to paint a picture of me so vile that others will turn away.

This is classic narcissistic behavior. When they lose control of the narrative, they resort to smearing your character. If you’ve encountered this, know that it’s not about who you really are—it’s about the threat you represent to their fragile ego. Their need to project is so strong that they will twist reality until they are the victim and you are the aggressor.

One minute, they’ll come at you with threats and intimidation—boasting of how they’ll ruin your life, how they’ll expose you, how you’ll never recover from what they’re going to do. The narcissist, in that moment, will wear the mask of power, asserting themselves as someone who can destroy you. But as quickly as that mask goes on, it comes off. In the next breath, they’ll become the wounded party, claiming that they’ve been misunderstood, that they’re the victim of your aggression. You misread my intentions, they’ll say. I was only trying to protect my children, or I never meant it that way. In this constant flip-flop, they avoid responsibility. The narcissist takes no accountability for their threats, lies, or manipulations. They shift between the bully and the victim seamlessly, all in an attempt to maintain control.

This is how the narcissist works—they rewrite reality. They rewrite your reality. And the moment you stop playing by their rules, they will go to extreme lengths to make you appear unhinged, abusive, or dangerous. They project their own worst qualities onto you because they cannot face them in themselves. Every accusation they hurl at you is a reflection of their inner turmoil. When they call you manipulative, it’s because they are manipulating. When they call you violent, it’s because they thrive on causing harm, whether emotional or psychological. When they accuse you of neglect, it’s often because they know, deep down, they are guilty of it themselves.

And let’s not forget the mockery they’ll use to diminish your worth. In my case, he mocks my life. He says I live in a desolate place, like a homeless drifter. He paints a picture of me as a failure, struggling in a container infested with wasps. His attempt to belittle my choices, my home, and my way of life is just another way to try and reduce my power. But that’s the thing about narcissists—they don’t see value outside of their narrow definitions of success and worth. To them, anything outside of their control or understanding is worthy of ridicule.

But here’s the truth: the narcissist has no real power. The only power they have is what you give them in the form of fear, anger, or reaction. Narcissists feed on your emotional responses. They want you to be angry because it gives them validation. They want you to be afraid because it reinforces their sense of control. The more you react, the more fuel you give them. This is why narcissists escalate their attacks—they are searching for that emotional supply, that validation that they still have control over you.

The key to dealing with a narcissist lies in understanding that their words—no matter how cruel, how calculated—are meaningless. They are reflections of their inner chaos, not of who you are. They project their insecurities, their failures, and their guilt onto you, hoping that you’ll take the bait. But if you refuse to engage, if you withdraw your emotional investment, their words lose all power.

For two years, I’ve delved deep into the psychology of narcissistic abuse. I’ve learned the tactics, the manipulation, and the gaslighting that narcissists use to maintain their control. And most importantly, I’ve learned how to break free. It starts with this: understand that they are not capable of change. They will never accept accountability, and they will never acknowledge the harm they cause. You cannot change a narcissist, but you can change how you react to them.

Their power ends where your indifference begins. When you recognize their tactics for what they are—desperate attempts to cling to control—you take away their ability to hurt you. They can throw insults, fabricate lies, and mock your life all they want, but it doesn’t change your reality. You know who you are, and their distorted version of events doesn’t define you.

If you find yourself the target of a narcissist’s abuse, remember: their words are confessions of their own brokenness. You don’t need to fight their accusations. You don’t need to defend yourself against their lies. The more you disengage, the more powerless they become.

They thrive on the idea that you’re stuck in their twisted version of reality. But you’re not. You have the power to step outside of their narrative and live your own truth. And once you do, their accusations, threats, and manipulations become nothing more than the hollow echoes of a small, broken person trying to hold on to an illusion of control.

So let him call me the “Keyboard Cowboy of Kempner.” Let him spin his stories. His words are just the desperate attempts of someone who knows deep down that he can’t control me. And that’s what terrifies him the most.